Beerfest, FSH, and Dangly Bits

Saturday's run = major suckage. I had a lot of issues on Saturday. Maybe it was the beer I drank the night before. Maybe it was the fact that I really had to go to the bathroom. I don't know. Whatever it was, I sucked ass. I started out decent but quickly failed the farther and farther away I got from my house. Ugh, oh well. At least I made it 4 miles, even if I had to walk part of it.

For Glenn's birthday, I got him a ticket to the Twin Cities Beerfest. Beerfest took place at the MOA on Saturday afternoon/evening.  I played sober cab for him and our friend Brian. Beerfest was awesome and I didn't even drink! There were a ton of vendors with at least 3 different types of beer at each stop. You walk in, they hand you a glass, and off you go. There's food trucks, games, music, and of course, drunk people. I think in the course of an hour and a half, the guys made it through 25 to 30 different beers. I don't think that was even 1/3 of what they could have tried.

How were they not falling down you ask? Well, the cup is clearly marked with a line at the 2 oz. mark so you can have a slight sample. Good theory but that mark has no meaning to most of the vendors. I did not have to carry them back to the car but there was some slurring going on.

One of the vendors was something Traveler. They gave away fake mustaches at their booth. Let me just say, I can rock a good 'stache.

My best friend was nice enough to watch Rowan along with her two kids while I played sober cab. We hit curfew and headed home just in time for her to take off for the Twins Game. Shoutout to Ang for watching the little kids while I dealt with the big kids!!

We concluded the evening with a trip to FSH or Farmington Steak House as you other folks might call it. FSH is a top notch establishment. Where else can you get a ribeye, baked potato, soup or salad, and texas toast for less than $8. Is it good quality meat? Will you get salmonella? Who knows. The point is, it's cheap. I myself stick to the cheeseburger and fries for $3. Now the fries may not be fully cooked but again, it's cheap. Our little family of three ate for $15. You can't even do that at McDonald's!

As I've mentioned before, I loves me a good laugh along with some good old people watching. Today, I hit a gold mine. I was out to lunch with a couple of co-workers at Tugg's, which is just along the river. We're chatting away when all of a sudden out of the corner of my eye, I see this middle aged guy running towards us on the other side of the street. I glance down and realize that running man has a slight issue. The issue being that his man parts are hanging out the bottom of his shorts just flopping in the wind. It was just weird because his man parts were covered with some sort of white fabric (I think) but yet I knew it wasn't part of the red shorts he was wearing. Being the adult that I am, I burst out laughing and covered my face with my hands trying to get the visual to disappear from my brain. I'm super classy like that. It was H-I-LARIOUS!!

On that note, I bid you adieu. Until next time peeps.

I'm Only 32...Who Really Needs Knees?

Yesterday's run was killer. Not in a bad way because I kicked ass! My knee has been bugging me for a few days now. It feels like it needs to crack but it won't. I debated about even going running but I knew I had to try and stick to my schedule since I hadn't run since Saturday.

My schedule said 2 miles but I pushed for 3. Glenn let me use his running watch since I need a new battery for mine so I could at least try and pace myself. And pace myself I did! I managed to stick to between a 10:30 and 11:00 minute pace and actually felt good about it. We took a new route and went up by Carleton for a change of scenery. Towards the end of the run, my knee started bugging me. I'm slightly worried about it but I think it might be because I've been picking up the pace. I'm sure my body is just trying to get used to it. Either that or my knee is rejecting me, kind of like my liver wants to every time I drink.

I'm finding this blog to be very therapeutic for me. At first I meant for this to be a place for me to journal about the goods and bads as I make my way to the TC 10-miler. It's become so much more than that. It's a place where I can be myself, where I don't need to worry about whether or not the laundry is getting done or figure out what we're having for supper. It's about me.

I've kept so much to myself for many years. Everyone knows bits and pieces but there isn't one person who knows everything I was going through as I gained and lost weight or how I felt the entire time that Glenn was deployed. I've never been a secretive person but I am very selective about who I give information to. I care deeply about my friends and my family. I spend so much time being there for them that I sometimes forget to be there for me. Don't get me wrong...I'm not bitching about that in any way. I'm very much a people person and I like to be there for others through their ups and downs. I just need to remember to let others be there for me, too.

Here is a little nugget for you...I love to laugh. Especially at stupid things. Like crazy cat photos.

How can anyone not think is is cute and funny? If you're not laughing, I'm pretty sure you have no soul. Or you hate cats, in which case, I'm not sure we can be friends. What's that you say? You adore me and don't know how you're going to function without me? Alright, fine, I'll take you back. But consider this a warning.

See...wit and sarcasm all rolled into one! I'm telling you, it's a gift. Peace out.

I am a Shoe Whore Amongst Other Things

First of all, I skipped my run last night. Eek! I had more important things to do like help throw a surprise party for a very dear friend of mine. Yes, we did it on a Tuesday night. No, we did not care that we all had to work the next day. It went off without a hitch and she was pleasantly surprised. I will make myself run extra long tomorrow night to make up for it.

Second of all, how many of you really, truly know me? I know there are a few. Glenn Jackson, if you answer no, you are fired! For instance, did you know that I don't like it when my food touches on my plate? I'm sure you're all thinking, god, what a weirdo. And you would be right.

So, without further ado, 23 things you may not know about me. Why 23? Because I was born on the 23rd and it's just an awesome number. It has nothing to do with Michael Jordan.

1. I am overly sarcastic. I'm sure many of you have figured this out by now. I feel it helps me get through my day.
2. I kind of want to pierce my nose but I'm pretty sure I'm too old now.
3. I love to sing karaoke. I have a decent voice. Not American Idol worthy but decent enough. I mean, I don't go off pitch or forget words unless I've had a few too many cocktails.
4. I want three kids. My husband wants the option to negotiate for four. If he wants to carry the fourth one and pop it out his va-jay-jay, he's more than welcome to.
5. I hate most reptiles unless they're in shoe or purse form.
6. Someday I would like to visit an island. A real island where there are fruity drinks and cabana boys and white sandy beaches and is not a US state. I've been to Hawaii; it doesn't count.
7. I would re-do certain things with my wedding. Bridesmaids would have worn black instead of light green. I would have lost more weight so I didn't have semi-fat face. I would have worn different lipstick. And Glenn Jackson and I would have high-fived after they prounounced us husband and wife like I wanted to. It is not acceptable to tell me 2 months later than it would have been cool if we had done that.
8. I hearts me some mexican food. I really like nachos with the gooey melty cheese that is so bad for you.
9. I will add onions to almost anything. Don't try and make out with me and you won't have to deal with the aftermath. Jeez.
10. I'm a total mama bear when it comes to my friends. It's ok for me to make fun of them (they make fun of me, too) but if you get out of line, I will fight back.
11. My day would not be complete if I didn't "fight" with my workstation mate.
12. I hate swimming in lakes. I'll do it but I hate it. There are fish and seaweed and sharp rocks in lakes.
13. I love to dress up in fancy dresses and get my hair done. And while I look fancy, I manage to downplay it by drinking beer and swearing.
14. My favorite swear word is "fuck". I say it A LOT. Sorry mom (she doesn't like it when I use that word).
15. I completely live up to my hair color. Bitchy, feisty, bad tempered...I'm all of those things wrapped in a bright, shiny bow.
16. I tried to ride a unicycle once. I fell down before I even got up and that was with help. I blame it on the alcohol.
17. Have I mentioned I like booze? I'm a beer and wine person. Not really into hard liquor but if you plop a Cherry Bomb down in front of me, I'm all over it.
18. My boobs are real. I am a 36D. I admit I have nice boobs. Someday I'll treat them to a lift.
19. I like to tell Glenn Jackson that when I turn 40, I'm gonna move to Vegas and become a cougar.
20. I would really like to own a teacup pig. They're super tiny and cute and would fit in my purse. I'I wonder if my cats would eat it. They like ham.
21. I am a shoe whore. I have so many pairs that just end up sitting in my closet yet I continue to buy more. Usually black ones. You can never have enough pairs of black shoes.
22. I like to think I'm super funny, especially when I'm hammed up. Not everyone agrees with this. I don't care.
23. Someday I will own a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes. The pair I really want is only $945. I'm hoping I get lucky in Vegas at the end of September. Or, if somebody would like to buy them for me for my birthday, I am a size 8 and they look like this:

So, there you go. I am an open book. Ask me anything. I'm not shy.

The King and Negative Nellie's

What a weekend! As promised, here is a picture of me in my beloved dress.

To be fair, I had a few beers in me and I'd been dancing up a storm. Not shockingly, I never got an actual nice picture of me earlier in the evening but you get the picture.

I think Glenn enjoyed his birthday, particularly when his squad came over and sang him Happy Birthday. Their gift to him...beer. Each soldier gave him a beer that he had to consume before he could leave the dinner. I was nice and helped with one.

And what evening wouldn't be complete without a visit from Elvis. How many of you can say that Elvis sang at your wedding (outside of Las Vegas)? I can because he surprised us during our reception and it has now become a tradition amongst our family. This is my Uncle John. We love him.

I've mentioned before about Mama Laughlin, the woman who inspired my blog and my readiness to transition my body and my life. She teamed up with a few other of her blog fans to create a group on Facebook where everyone can band together and help each other be successful in weight loss.

The description: Lena and Marge* are fans of Mama Laughlin and are working their asses off to become healthy skinny bitches. Between us, we've tried just about everything. Join us for motivation, encouragement, ideas, and challenges. Excuses must be left at the door.

*Names have been changed to protect the not so innocent

Sounds great. They also started a weight loss challenge. I recently joined the group and signed up for the weight loss challenge but didn't really know anything about it. So today I read a post to find out that if you didn't weigh in last week and get your name on the spreadsheet (which they took down so nobody could fill in nor did they tell us about the weigh in), you're basically screwed and can't participate.

Here is what they posted today: I've posted the spreadsheet again for your Week 1 weighins! Please just add your weight and do not change anything else! You do not want to lose all your spreadsheeting privileges!!!! If I notice it is getting out of hand, I will close it again. Sorry to be so harsh, but Marge* and I are doing this group on top of our day jobs, work outs, and other commitments so we are trying to be as efficient as possible. Thank you! ~ Lena*

Followed by: P.S. If you missed the initial weigh-in last week so sad, too bad. That's what deadlines are for. Do not add your name to the list! But please, please, feel free to play along as we collectively aim to lose 4,000lbs or the approximate weight of a mini-van.

This is supposed to be a positive environment for people to help each other be successful. Instead, these two have turned this into a negative place where you get punished for not knowing information that wasn't given out, at least not that I can see. How is anyone supposed to feel good about themselves when they've just knocked everyone down?

Oh, and here's my favorite. This is posted by the weigh-in document.

"Do not tinker with the spreadsheet or I will biatch slap you!!!"

Really? It's things like this that totally piss me off when it comes to weight loss. Needless to say, I stood on my soap box and said my piece and left the group. I don't want to be around or hear from anyone who has anything negative to say about the positive change I'm trying to make to my life. You can try and beat me down but just know that I will always stand back up. I am a strong person and nobody is gonna tell me what I can and can't do with my life.

To all you negative nellie's that think I can't do this, that want to rain on my parade because of your own insecurities, fuck you. I've got plenty of people who support me and want to see me be successful. And thank you for inspiring me even more to kick ass at this race and eventually hit my goal weight. I'll be sure to think of you when I cross that finish line.

I'm Jiggly and I Know It

Observations from today's run

1. I jiggle. A lot. Particularly in the butt region. My husband tells me he enjoys it when he's running behind me (which is pretty rare considering how slow I am) but I do not. I've always had a large backside but this is ridiculous. I better go find some apple bottom jeans and some boots with the fur.

2. Pushing Rowan in the stroller is hard work. This is going to come across as so whiny but it's true. I can barely propel my own weight forward so trying to push an additional 45 to 50 pounds about did me in. My goal today was 3 miles. I did 3.85 but probably only ran 2.5 of those. I made myself go the extra distance to make up for the fact that I didn't run as much as I anticipated.

3. I did not find my runner's high. See #2.

4. Running in 60 degree weather is glorious. I love everything about it. It's not too hot or cold and your clothes don't stick to you quite like they do when it's 80's and humid.

This afternoon we've got my cousin's wedding and the Bayonet dinner. It's so awesome to have to go back and forth. It really wouldn't be the army if they didn't make things more complicated than they should be. I found a dress yesterday that I L-O-V-E. It's plum chiffon, halter neck, with ruffles on the top. Again, hard to describe but I love everything about it. I even got new shoes because one really must wear silver shoes with this dress. The shoes sparkle. Not hooker sparkle but in an elegant way. I'm gonna look so kick ass.

Today is also the hubby's 30th birthday. Finally, he joins the majority of us in the 30's club. I feel bad that he has to spend the evening with the military. However, if any of you army guys feel the need to give him the 30 spankings he definitely deserves, I won't stand in your way. I'll even hold his coat for you.

Ciao!

Because I'm Awesome

I feel so unbelievably awesome right now! I was slightly bitter this afternoon because Glenn and I originally weren't going to go to the Bayonet dinner on Saturday night because my cousin gets married that afternoon but apparently we have no choice. So, I have to find a cocktail dress for said dinner, which just pissed me off. Luckily, I found one (more on that coming up).

So off we went tonight to find Glenn a suit jacket and me a dress. He was more successful than I was on the first round. I managed to find one at the second store we went to. It's not ideal but it'll do. I'm gonna search a little more tomorrow and hopefully find one that makes me bombshell worthy. Well, as bombshell like as I can get in my current state.

As soon as we got home, we headed out for our 2-mile run. I don't know if it was the fact that it was nice outside or that I brought the dog with but I felt like I could have ran forever. I found my runner's high tonight!! The dog tends to pull me along which is fantastic but he also tends to stop and pee on every tree, bush, or blade of grass we go by. Anyway, we stopped off at the park so Rowan could play for a few minutes and I kept running along the trail. I just had so much energy so I made Glenn finish running the rest of the way home.

It's very rare that I feel as good as I do right now after a run. I usually get home just exhausted and wanting to curl up in a ball on the couch. This feeling is something I wish I could bottle and bring out every time I go out for a run. If I can hang on to this for the next 2 months, that 10-miler is gonna be a piece of cake.

So back to said dress. It's knee length, black, with sparkles on the top half. It's really hard to describe but it's a decent cocktail dress. Luckily I have nice boobs so I fill it out quite nicely.

3-mile run on Saturday morning. Glenn's gonna put a few hours in at the shop so I have to push Rowan in the stroller by myself. Here's hoping it goes well.

Woe is Me

I would probably kill someone for a Diet Coke right now. Ok, that's probably too strong of a statement but these withdrawal headaches are driving me up the wall. As my co-worker told me, this is what rehab is like. If I feel this awful about pop, I feel sorry for the drug addicts. I was this close (picture me squeezing my fingers together real close) to having some root beer at the Twins game this afternoon but I stayed strong. I had a beer instead.

I'm doing much better with my food this week. I found a new program for my phone called "Lose It". It is awesome! I can actually scan the barcodes of food and it inputs the item into my daily log. I think my other program could also do that but this one got rave reviews on Pinterest. So far I'm down 2 pounds, mostly water weight I'm sure, but 2 pounds is 2 pounds in my book.

Tonight's training activity is cross training so I'm going to go pound some laps out at the pool. If there's anything I could hate more, it would be wearing a swimsuit in front of other people. The good thing is they're strangers so I don't really care what they think. No, that's not true. I do care because I'm dealing with self-esteem issues, as I'm sure most overweight people do. Someday I'll get over it...I hope.

And on that depressing note, I'm outta here. Corn on the cob and grilled chicken for dinner tonight. Yum!