Small Town Girl in the Big City

As most of you know, I grew up in small town Iowa. Lake Mills, Iowa to be exact. Generally, people are not familiar with it seeing as how it is a town of 2,300 people. But if you know where the casino is on I35, head 14 miles west and you'll hit it.

Growing up in a small town was nice but had its challenges. Everybody knew everybody and if you managed to keep a secret, you should be heralded. One time I was cruising the loop after school (yes, it's a real thing) and this woman pulled out of the gas station parking lot right into the side of my car. So I pulled into the gas station, the cops were called, yadda, yadda, yadda. I hadn't even had a chance to process anything when the woman behind the counter came out to tell me my mom was on the phone (we didn't have cell phones at the time). Yup, my mom had heard about the accident even though it had only happened 5 minutes prior. Good times!

Small town life meant that you knew everyone in your class...and usually the entire high school. You may not have gotten along with everybody but you always had somebody to hang out with. And it usually meant something to do even though it may not be legal. I spent a lot of time driving around, wasting gas, and went to the occasional party at someone's farm.

I miss that small town, more than I thought I ever would. But I'm not ready to go back and I don't know if I ever will be. I love being able to drive 2 miles and hit a Target or Wal-Mart or Cub. Back in the day, the closest "big" towns were a half hour away so you couldn't just run there if you needed something when you were cooking. And don't kid yourself...we had a grocery store. It may have been in the middle of nowhere but we had a grocery store! And 4 bars but that's beside the point.

I knew I was destined to get out of that town. Not because it was bad but because I couldn't always be myself there. I am not the girl I was in high school. That girl was quiet (if you didn't know me), sometimes shy, and rarely stirred up trouble. She wasn't in the "popular" crowd but she had a great group of friends, who she is still friends with to this day. The woman I am today is loud, funny, swears like a sailor, considers sarcasm her second language, and while she may be overweight, she doesn't let that hold her back from accomplishing things like running a 10-miler.

I always felt judged in that town so I went out of my way to be sure I didn't bring attention to myself. Looking back I can't believe how stupid that sounds. Of course people are going to judge you. That's how life goes and it happens no matter where you live. I don't regret much and I wouldn't go back and change my general sense of being but if I got to do it over again, everyone would have seen the me I am today rather than the me I was back then. Life is about living and doing and most importantly, being happy. Go find your happiness. I'm getting better at finding mine.