The Fear of the Poke

Yesterday I got confirmation that I do indeed have gestational diabetes. I had to take the three-hour glucose test over a week ago and unfortunately didn't pass so I was sent to a specialist. I walked into that appointment completely freaked out over what this might mean. Was I going to have to give up my beloved diet coke? What would I do if they told me I had to check my blood sugar each day? And worst of all, what if I had to take insulin? I hate needles, in case you hadn't figured that out. And I know I have tattoos but that is completely different.

I was pleasantly surprised by the appointment. The nurse who did my consultation explained what it meant to have gestational diabetes and how it would be handled. I have to count my carbs but as I was looking over the recommended meal plan, I realized I have to eat way more than I thought I did. I just have to cut out pop and sweets. And my beloved diet coke is still something I can have. Yay!

The only piece I'm not happy about is having to poke my finger 4 times a day. My eyes literally filled with tears when she handed me the glucose monitor. I had to try it out there to make sure I knew how to use it. I sat there for so long with that little device pressed to my finger before I got the courage to push the button. And honestly, it was not nearly as painful as I thought it would be.

I know I'll get through this. It's just 13 more weeks of my life (or less if baby boy decides to listen to his mama and come a little bit early). I can't promise that someday I won't try to kill you for a cupcake. But as my nurse said, it's ok to have a treat of some kind on a special occasion. It's just not ok to have them every day. At least until the baby is born and then all bets are off.

And just to be clear, if I want advice, I will ask for it. I don't need lectures and I don't need people breathing down my neck about what I am eating. I am a big girl and I can handle this. I probably sound like a bitch but every pregnancy is different and what works for one person may not work for another. So this is between me and my doctor and no one else.

This is not a death sentence. If anything, this is preparing me for getting back into shape once he's born. Ok, let's be honest, once the holidays are past. Nothing will keep me from my holiday baking.