I'm Hangry But It's Worth It

Day 4 of my weight loss challenge and I'm officially down 4 pounds. Woot woot! I stepped off my scale this morning feeling like a million bucks. 4 pounds isn't a lot considering how far I have to go and I'm starving all the time (see below) but it's something. I'm seeing progress. I'm seeing the number on the scale move down as opposed to up. It's something!

I'm also one week into my exercise challenge and haven't slipped up once. God, between that and the weight loss, I think I should get a gold star. I haven't been this disciplined in a long time. 6 more pounds and mama gets a new pair of shoes!

And in case you're wondering, the boys started at their new daycare on Monday. The verdict? They absolutely love it. Rowan no longer fights going to bed at night or waking up in the morning because he's so excited to play with his friends. He told me last night that he really likes Lynn, his new daycare mom. Hearing those words come out of his mouth is a huge weight off my shoulders. It makes me feel a little guilty that I didn't step up and make a change sooner. I knew he wasn't happy at his old daycare but I thought it was just a phase he was going through.

Baby Keegs is loving life, too. He gets to play outside, he's got new people to talk to, etc. Glenn picked him up one day and he was hanging outside in an exersaucer eating cheerios and having a blast. I cannot say enough good things about this new daycare!

Five Days Down, 25 More To Go

Five days ago I challenged myself to do 30 days of exercise. So far I've kept up with it. Yesterday's attempt at exercise was lame but it was something. We ended up walking around at least half the day for Goodview Days. I know it was exercise but it didn't feel quite as good consider I ate some pizza halfway through.

For tonight's exercise, Glenn made me do something called the deck of cards. It's exactly what it sounds like. We assigned an exercise to each card type (hearts were push-up's, spades were jumping jacks, etc.) and then went through the deck. Three quarters of the way through the deck, I was struggling to hold myself up with my arms and I wanted to throw up. It was actually a really good workout. And what's nice is you can change up what you do. 

I am also starting a new challenge. My sister-in-law and I are in a biggest loser style weight loss competition. Whoever has the highest percentage of weight loss is declared the winner. Loser has to pay for pedicures. So between now and October 4, I have to get my butt in gear and kick my own ass. I've got a pedicure calling my name!

A Challenge To Myself

They say it takes 30 days to form a habit. That seems like a really long time but in the grand scheme of things, it's really not. I think of how quick it is to put on a few pounds. It certainly doesn't take me a month to do that. It seems like minutes versus days!

I look at myself in the mirror and think, where have the past few months gone? The ones where you said you were going to do something about your weight. Where you were going to commit to run. To become a new person on the outside. Those days are gone, one fading into the next. And I'm still the same as I was before. But that's about to change.

I'm challenging myself to become that person. 30 days of exercise = one step closer to becoming the woman I want to be. It doesn't matter what I do as long as I get some form of exercise in for the day. My reward? Satisfaction in knowing I challenged myself and I survived. And with any luck, a fabulous new pair of shoes! You can't go wrong with shoes...right?

The Day My Baby Got "Fired": A True Story

A few of you have been privy to our recent debacle with daycare but for those of you who haven't heard, we got a two week notice last Friday. Our current provider said that she didn't think Keegan liked going there and would be better suited with a different daycare mom. Plus, he's too fussy for her. WTF! Are you kidding me?!?!

When she handed me the letter saying we had to be gone by August 15, I was completely floored. We got no warning that this was coming. She would ask me questions every few weeks like whether or not he sat and played with toys at home, how well he took naps, or if there was something we do at home to help with crankiness but not once did she say that if it didn't get better, we had to find new daycare.

Keegan is definitely fussy but he's no fussier than any other baby I've been around. He's 8 months old and teething so yeah, he's bound to be cranky. I think he just didn't meet her expectations of what a baby should be like so he got the boot.

Now, if you're like anyone else I've told this story to, you're baffled, annoyed, or Hulk-like angry over this. To be fair, the contract we signed does state that at any point she can give us a two week notice. But to "fire" an infant because he's too "fussy"? That's just cold-hearted and mean.

I spent most of last weekend in about 3 moods: angry because of the whole situation, sad because she thinks so poorly of my son, and panicking because it took me forever to find someone to watch him in the first place. Nobody has infant openings around here. I made several calls to home daycares in our area, to no avail. But then the angels must have heard my plea because we managed to find a new daycare on Monday!

We met our new daycare provider on Wednesday and I instantly felt at ease with her. She's got a kick-ass backyard, is so unbelievably nice, and genuinely appreciates kids for who they are. Plus, my best friend's kids go there (hence, how I found her) so Rowan and Keegan will at least know two of the kids.

What turned into an incredibly crappy situation has since turned around for the better. I don't dislike our current provider but I've never fully felt at ease with her so this has definitely been a blessing in disguise. Thank you to those of you who put the APB out and got us in touch with friends or acquaintances who would have been willing to watch our boys. It's so amazing knowing that I have friends out there who will drop what they're doing to help me out. I hope you know I'd do the same for you in a heartbeat.

Encouragement is Everything

I have to say, I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of positive thoughts, encouragement, and suggestions that have been sent my way since my blog post the other night. I truly have amazing friends and family and I couldn't be more grateful. I think getting the news that my blood pressure medication isn't working made me just a tad upset. I mean, you take a pill, you think it will instantly make things better but apparently blood pressure doesn't work that way. Who knew.

I was reminded of several things that really hit home with me. Taking things one day at a time can make all the difference. And it's ok if you screw up. You get back on track the next day and keep moving forward. And that getting mad at myself doesn't make things better. All it does it prolong the negativity. Most of all, I am reminded that I am not alone. While my head tells me I am an island of one, you realize there are five others out there who are in the same boat. Everyone has their struggles.

But struggling doesn't mean you're failing, which is something I need to remember. Tomorrow begins my journey. I'm not going to promise that I won't slip up. I am human after all. But I do promise to do my very best each and every day, even if my best is just getting out the front door in the morning! 

Why I'm Mad at Me

News flash: I'm a fatty. It's ok...it's true and I accept that. I hate that I'm overweight and I honestly don't know what to do about it. Why is it so hard to find the motivation to lose weight and get myself back on track? It's super easy to put the weight on, that's for sure.

I was recently diagnosed with high blood pressure and had to go on medication. Part of the cause is me being as heavy as I am. You would think that would be motivation enough but you'd be wrong. I for the life of me can't figure out why. High blood pressure is a serious thing. I have lost a few pounds over the last couple of weeks just by cutting back on the crap and running but it's not enough.

I hate everything about this. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I hate that none of my clothes from a couple of summers ago (pre pregnancy) no longer fit. I hate that I have no willpower. Most of all, I hate that I let myself get to this point. I'm so unbelievably unhappy right now.

Let me be clear...I love my husband and my kids and our life together. That's not at all why I'm unhappy. I'm unhappy because I'm on a downward spiral that doesn't seem to end. I want to be around to watch my kids grow up and someday have grandkids of my own. But if I don't get my act together, this life I'm looking forward to may not be as long as I'm anticipating.

This is my cry for help. Motivate me. Yell at me. Take the damn cookie out of my hand if you have to. Be there for me as I try and figure this out. It may not seem like much but it's more than you realize.

Get Excited People...I'm Back!!

That's right people...I'm back! I took a brief hiatus from the blog and by brief, I mean a few months. We've been dealing with a touch of crazy at our house from having a baby to it being that crazy time of year at work to dealing with the renters from hell. You know...the usual stuff.

So you probably know that one of my goals for 2014 is to run a half-marathon. That will become a reality as I did sign up for the Mankato half-marathon in mid-October. 218 days to go! Glenn Jackson is being a love and running it with me. That means at some point over the summer I will grow to hate him as he continues to do things like make me eat my vegetables and actually make me run. Ugh, the nerve.

In all honesty, though, I'm really excited about this. So excited, in fact, that I actually got off my ass last night and went for a run. Woot woot! I haven't ran since the 10-miler a year and a half ago. Let me tell you, it wasn't pretty. I ended up walking a little bit, everything hurt, and I'm pretty sure I looked like one of those dogs with big jowls and loose skin that flops up and down when they run.

I am dying laughing as I type this

It was a completely pathetic run but the point is, I did it. I felt so awesome afterward. I know I need to get back on track but this run just solidified everything my mind has been telling me these past couple of months.

Forewarning, I will now become one of those annoying people who fills you in on their training and whether or not it was a good day or a bad day. Don't worry, though, I've got plenty of other crap to fill you in on so stay tuned.

I will now leave you with a couple of pics of my boys just because they are so damn cute!