I Know I'm Crazy...But Not Transvestite Crazy

You've all missed me terribly haven't you. It's ok...I've missed you, too. I honestly don't have anything new or exciting to report. I've been living the dream over the last week. And by dream I mean running, cleaning my house, running some more, buying skinny jeans, doing laundy, oh and um, running.

Yes, I bought a pair of skinny jeans. Rockstar super skinny jeans to be exact. I find them quite "fitting" (see what I did there?) seeing as how my nickname is Rockstar. More on how that name came to be later. I normally am not the type to want to put on something that clings to your body like saran wrap but they are just so awesome. Plus, it gave me an excuse to use up the rest of my Maurice's gift card on a pair of black hooker boots to wear over them. Woot woot!

Yesterday Glenn's brother and his 2 daughters came up and we hit up the Renaissance Festival. Here they are looking cute as ever.

Now, I am all for being your own person and doing whatever makes you happy but lord jeebus, there are some crazy people out there. Like the he/she with the cotton candy pink hair, corset, and cat-like nails encouraging people to buy beer. Or the lady with the skin dyed green and ogre like teeth at the information booth. I doubt they had either one of you back in the 1400's but thanks for playing. Oooh, and what about the teenager dressed all in black, wearing a cape, and carrying a light saber. I can guarantee you light sabers didn't exist back then. Or ever except in George Lucas' fantasies.

And don't get me started on the belly dancers. If your tummy creates a muffin top over your jingly skirt and we can see said muffin top because you are exposing it by wearing a bra-like jingly top, I would question your decision making. God bless you for being ok with showing off the goods but in public? In front of thousands of people? Really?

As for the corset clad women, I would be right there with them in a heartbeat. You've heard me say it before...I have nice boobs. I'm quite proud of them. But there is something to be said when a woman with boobs twice the size of mine trys to shove those melons in a dress/corset 2 sizes too small. Boobs should not look irregular shaped within a corset. Nor should they spill out over the top to the point you look like you could suffocate yourself (or a small child) with them.

All in all it was a fun day. Rowan got to experience his first pony ride and proceeded to ride one-handed like a typical cowboy. No amount of urging from his mother would make him put two handles on the saddle. He's such a boy.

 

As of Thursday, I'm saying adios bitches! The hubs and I are heading out for some R & R in...Vegas baby! We're ditching the kid with his grandparents and going to get down and dirty in Sin City! And by down and dirty I mean we'll probably be in bed by 10 every night. That's pretty much how I roll. I can't wait!

 

Oh, and the rockstar nickname? I got it my first annual meeting during a staff appreciate event. Beers were consumed, dancing on tables commenced, and I ended up being called rockstar. The name has stuck ever since. See, not as dirty as you were probably thinking.

Things to Do Before I Die

7 miles down...3 to go. I'm still in amazement that I did 7 miles yesterday. I had to walk a few times (mostly up hills) but I did it! As Glenn reminds me, I only have to add a 5k to that and I'll be done. That's just crazy. The last time I did even close to 7 miles was when I did the TC 10k in October 2010. Rowan was 6 months old.

By the time we got home, my legs were pretty much jelly and I was exhausted. But, no knee pain...success! I swear it's my new shoes.

Yes, that is my crazy dog sitting next to me. Glenn managed to catch him mid-yawn.

Next weekend is 8 miles but who cares about that. Without further adieu...my bucket list!

There are several things I want in life. The most important...walking into a bar and having the bartender set a drink in front of me without even ordering. Ok, not really. But it would be awesome.

As I've mentioned before, I'm all about not having any regrets. When I die, I want go out knowing I lived life to the fullest. I've done a lot (been to Europe, tried absinthe, ran a 10k, etc.) but there are so many other things I want to do before I die. Too many to list actually. I know I won't get to all of them but maybe I can squeeze a few in here and there.

1. Go to Ireland (Glenn has promised me that we will go there for our 10-year anniversary. I'm holding him to it.)
2. Run a half-marathon
3. Buy a two-piece swim suit and NOT be afraid to show off my tiger stripes (aka stretch marks)
4. Hit my goal weight of 135
5. Cuddle with a monkey
6. Skinny dip in the ocean
7. Participate in a flash mob
8. Take a cooking class
9. Rent a cabin for the entire summer (or better yet, a house in the Hamptons)
10. Own a teacup pig
11. Go on a free for all shopping spree
12. Visit all 50 states
13. Own a pair of Louboutin's
14. Go camping with my kids
15. Be genuinely happy

The Daringness of Me

Daringness...is that even a word? Eh, who cares.

I've always wanted to be more daring. To do things that are so "not me". Everyone thinks, or used to think, that I was always the goody goody. Well let me tell you people, you couldn't be farther from the truth. I swear like a sailor, I drink like a fish, I've got my fair share of tattoos...you get the picture.

I'm, for the most part, about trying and experiencing new things. The 10-miler for instance. I've always said I wanted to run a marathon some day. Of course, I only say that when I'm watching the Biggest Loser. If they can do it, so can I. And then reality hits. Well this time, when reality hit, I grabbed it by the horns and wrestled that sucker to the ground. I don't even think that was an analogy. Plain speak = I made it into the 10-miler lottery and signed up for it.

Back in February, I also did something bold that I don't think I would have done 10 years ago. I did a boudoir photo shoot aka wearing lingerie and posing in front of the camera. One of the other army wives is a photographer and she offered to do this photo shoot for anyone who wanted to try it out. After some encouragement (ok, a lot) from my husband, I said screw it, I'm gonna do this. I didn't know when I'd get another opportunity to do this again.

So I got my hair and makeup done and bought some fancy undergarments and off I went to the W at the Foshay in downtown mpls. I was sooo nervous because a1) I hate my body and a2) I hate my body. The results = I loved every minute of it! I felt so free and beautiful. Those pictures captured a woman who wasn't afraid of putting herself out there. I definitely hated a couple of them but overall they turned out fabulous.

If you are my brothers or anyone else who gets nervous about anyone not wearing head to toe flannel, you may want to avert your eyes.

Here I am in all my glory.

 

 

 

I would do this again in a heartbeat. Would I love to be smaller and wear something skimpier? Definitely but that's not what's it about. It's about loving yourself and doing what makes you happy.

I'm going to start a bucket list (future post for those of you who care). I want to do more things like this photo shoot. Life is about living. I don't want to leave this earth with any regrets. So I won't.

Living In the Now

I'm part of a group going through leadership development within my company. Today we had a development session and got the opportunity to sit down with someone (nameless for privacy reasons) to talk about their personal development.

We got some excellent advice but the one thing that stuck with me was this...at all times, you need to be happy with where you are now in your life and not focus solely on the future. This struck a chord with a couple of different things.

I've spent the better part of the last 12 years of my life worried about my weight and what I look like. I'm never happy with my body and I honestly don't think I ever will be. I think I could be a size 4 and I would still find something wrong with the way I look. I've trained myself to think that I'm not beautiful because I'm overweight. That is so wrong!! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. My husband compliments me all the time and tells me how gorgeous he thinks I am and most of the time, I gloss over that because I don't feel gorgeous.

It also made me think about my husband and our life together. We're always planning these grand adventures. We want to open a bar or a brew pub, we want to take fabulous vacations all over the world, and other things like that, but it always comes down to money and time. We never have enough of either. I know we need to look towards the future but at times I think that's all we do. It's always about the "what if's". I don't think that's a bad thing but I'm happy with where we are in our lives. Why can that never be enough?

I have a husband, a son, family, and friends who love me regardless of how much I weigh or what I look like. I have a roof over my head and more crap in it than I know what to do with. I have a job that I absolutely love, even when I complain about it. I live a comfortable lifestyle. Could I use more money? All the time. Am I fine right now? Absolutely. Life is too short as I've come to realize and I'm tired of constantly worrying about what's to come. I'm tired of worrying about what people think of me. And I'm tired of worrying about life in general. I want to enjoy what I've been given. From now on, I've going to live for the now. I'm living for me.

Booty Shakes and Whitey Tighteys

This morning was the dreaded visit to the doctor's office to have my knee looked at. The good news is that my leg doesn't need to be amputated. And really, there's no bad news. My knee is fine. Booty shake!

I met with an ortho doc, who I loved from the very moment that I met her. She was young, quirky, and I immediately wanted to make her my new best friend. It would probably have been a little awkward to ask her to swap numbers and wear matching BFF necklaces considering we didn't know each other but whatever. The doc listened to my symptoms, asked questions, checked my knee, and made me get a couple x-rays taken to ensure I hadn't fractured anything. The conclusion: overuse. I basically went from 0 to 60 in 2.5 seconds and my knee couldn't handle it.

The best part is that I can keep running. Yay!! I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to run the 10-miler and then I'd have to throw a good old fashioned temper tantrum. I need to watch myself, take ibuprofen as needed, and make sure I ice my knee but other than that, I'm good to go. She also told me to work on strengthening my legs, which will help my knee adjust. No squats but it looks like Jillian and I will be spending some more quality time together.

Driving to work gave me some time to think and I realized that if today wasn't a cry for help, I don't know what will be. Clearly my weight is putting a strain on my body and if I want to get better, I need to do something about it. Meeting with the doctor was the kick in the ass that I needed to make sure I do this.

Along with that comes the technique of visioning. We had an outside speaker come in yesterday for a quarterly department event and she talked about work-life balance, time management, etc. Anyway, one of the things that really stuck with me was visioning. We had to complete a life balance worksheet and one of the items we had to rate was physical health. I, of course, gave it a low score. Later on we had to pick one of the items and write our vision of what that item would look like if it were given a score of 10. What am I doing? What do I hear? See? All of that.

I wrote about being my ideal weight. I would be slim and fit. I would be able to run a half-marathon and beat my personal record. I would be able to look in the mirror and like what I see. I would get asked "how do you stay so thin?" and love every minute of it. I wouldn't be embarrassed to be seen in a swimming suit. This list could go on forever but I won't bore with all the would be's.

My first goal is to complete the 10-miler. I am quickly realizing it will be here before I know it. From there, I'm tackling this whole weight issue for good.

SQUIRREL!!

Ahh, now that I've got your attention (because I'm sure I lost it halfway back up the page), here are a few more of the things you may or may not know about me. Everyone seems to like those.

• I have 5 tattoos. I only regret one of them but not really that much. I even have the traditional sign of a who-er...the tramp stamp. It's by far my favorite tattoo. And I'm not a who-er.
• I hate swedish fish and dots and anything that is gummy but not really a gummy. It sticks to my teeth and irritates me. And quite honestly I'm just prejudiced against the fish because they're liars. They're not really from Sweden.
• In high school, I once walked through the boys locker room on accident and did see a couple of guys in their whitey tighteys. Oops!
• Bud light is my beer of choice. Or piss water as my husband calls it. But then again, what does he know. I'm saving money...I can get drunk way cheaper than he can.
• I read the 50 Shades of Gray trilogy in 4 days. I loved every minute of it. I can't get in an elevator without thinking about book 1.

Alright, duty calls. Rowan and I are single for the weekend while Glenn is up at Camp Ripley. We're gonna pound a few back and see what we can do to get arrested. Or, we're gonna have milk and cookies while we watch the Lorax for the 15th time. It's all up in the air.

Knee Pain and Justin Bieber (The Two Are Not Connected...I Swear)

You've probably been wondering where I've been since I haven't posted in a while. It's ok. You can say you missed me. I don't mind.

Let's see, what has Erin been up to.

Go to the Minnesota State Fair...check
Buy yet another pair of running shoes...check
Determine that I need a pair of spandex shorts for running so I don't show my ass cheeks...check
Skip JM's 30 day shred because of knee pain...check
Make doctor's appointment for said knee pain...check
Run 6 miles according to training schedule...half a check
Work out daily and follow a healthy eating habit...EPIC FAIL

To say that my knee is killing me is putting it mildly. Sunday I was supposed to do 6 miles. I made it 4.5. And I walked the last mile and a half. My husband was nice enough to go buy me a knee brace to help constrict me a little more. It worked great...at first. 3 miles in and I was done. Every time I put my foot down, pain would shoot up my left leg. Awesome!!

Last night we went to the MOA (Mall of America for you out of towners) and hit up Foot Locker. I broke down and bought a pair of New Balance Minimus even though I think they're mostly ugly. Good news: they were half price. Bad news: they didn't have the plain black ones I wanted. I ended up with gray. I can live with gray. I mean, that's really all my husband wears in addition to black.

When we got home, we decided to do a quick mile to test out my new kicks. So I put on my running gear and off we went at 8:00 at night. It was pretty much pitch black. While the shoes are mostly ugly, they make up for it by being awesome. You definitely run different with minimus shoes but in a good way.

And while the shoes were awesome, my shorts...not so much. I rarely wear shorts when I run because they always crawl up my legs and then my thighs rub together and I get super annoyed. We had barely gone a quarter mile when the annoyance started. I swear to god my ass cheeks were hanging out of my shorts. Glenn "volunteered" to run behind me to check. They were not but it led me to the thought of buying even more of the dreaded spandex, but in shorts form. We shall see.

Today my knee has been hurting like a son of a bitch. I decided to be a grown up and I made a doctor's appointment. On Friday I will find out my fate. I hope they don't tell me that I can't run the 10-miler. And I hope they tell me that I've magically lost 8 trillion pounds when I step on the scale. I believe one of these will be true and I bet you can guess which one!

Tomorrow is decorate your locker day at work. I swear to god we do real work there. It only feels like I work on a cruise ship. Anyway, I scoured Target for locker supplies tonight to no avail. Well, that's not true. I bought a copy of Bop magazine (yes, it still exists!!!) and will be decorating my locker with posters of today's teen celebs. I despise Justin Bieber but tomorrow he will be the object of my affection. There are prizes involved here people!!!