Be forewarned. This particular blog is full of sadness and anger. And I get way more emotional than some of you have seen in awhile. So here goes.
Yup, it's been one of those days. One of those "kick you in the ass, piss you off like no other" kind of days. There have been multiple contributors but the last straw was the fact that once again, I'm not pregnant. We have been trying to get pregnant for almost a year and so far, the odds are not in our favor. Which would explain why I've become a super fatty, drink a lot, and am super irritable at all times.
I know that by losing weight, I'd have a better chance of getting pregnant. But logic and my head are not a good mix right now. I'm under a lot of stress because I leave for the Annual Meeting in 20 days, we close on our new house in about 6 weeks, and, oh, by the way, I have to pack up our house and deal with the bitchy, old, single ladies who run our association and explain to them why we can't actually sell our house because we'll never get what we owe for it and they need to back the fuck off and remember that this is not 1998. The economy is not great. I digress.
All this did send me down a spiral of bitterness. I get tired of being disappointed month after month. I know some of you have been through this and I understand exactly what you're going through. I'm not a stranger to this feeling. It took us 9 months to get pregnant with Rowan and the only way it actually it actually happened was with fertility drugs. It's just so frustrating that once again, I'm back in this position.
Glenn and I are not doing well, hence the drinking my face off. He sucks...he's not a good alcoholic like others. But through all of this, our shining star is Rowan. I don't know what we'd do without him. As we speak, he is sitting with his dad singing the theme song to Team Umizoomi. All I can do is smile. I love that little guy so much. He makes our life so much better.
So right now, I'm asking for positive thoughts and lots of prayers. You may not think I deserve them, especially if you're in the same situation that I'm in, but know that I'm on your side and am sending good thoughts your way. I've been in your shoes. I know what it's like. And I know how much it hurts. And I'm asking for you to return the favor. If you've got my back, I've got yours. And I know we can get through this.
